I’m a wanted man.

I’m a wanted man, and it’s not Angelina Jolie that is after me. 

 

Apart from the dismal finances of a university student supporting a family of 5, there is another reason I will not be visiting the USA soon.  I was on the computer on Sunday and since fatty was away I got so bored I decided to look myself up.  I found me, that was no surprise.  But what I also found was very unnerving. 

 

Here is me, Michael Leask, cover-child for mature age students at my university.  

 

Here is not me, Michael Leask, criminal wanted by the Antrim County sherriff’s department in Michigan. 

 

This man has far too much in common with me to be comfortable.  Let’s look at this logically.  If you were a wanted man, what would you change about yourself? 

 

I could never be mistaken for being 6 foot 1.  Or 190 pounds.  But he has the same name as me (different middle name).  He is born the same year as me.  His date of birth is off by 6 months and 2 days. 

 

If I am on the Michigan’s Antrim county 10 mosted wanted list, I suspect that I am also on the Homeland Security watchlist.  I suspect that the fact he has been caught won’t mean much if they "catch" me.  That means I will be held up for hours at every airport I use.  It means that if I made it out of the airport to take my kids to Disneyland, a simple speeding ticket would become a visit to Guantanamo Bay.  Thanks, but no thanks.

 

So if we are destined to meet in the next half-decade or so, it will be on my turf.  You are all welcome to visit.  We’ll let anyone in.  Hell, we even let Tom Cruise marry one of our women.

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19 Responses to I’m a wanted man.

  1. Zed says:

    Good news: the post says he’s been captured, so they’re not after you anymore, right?

  2. a says:

    i’d be more disappointed that the crime is so, so, what’s the word? mundane? uttering and publishing? oooh scary bad man forged a check, or something. what a bummer for your notoriety. and he didn’t even have any aliases, like BIG MIKE? what a tragedy

  3. Unknown says:

    I guess that picture on the school site was before you got the eye tattoo eh?BotchedP.S. I’ve talked to TWO people that have tried Vege-ee-mite and they both said it was CRAP! Be honest, no one reall likes it do they? It’s just one of those national things. Like here in Center of the Universe, no one really likes baseball, we’re just obligated to say we do.

  4. Unknown says:

    CCM, I keep forgetting to answer your vegie question concerning Vegemite. I think it comes from the old scientific useage of vegetable. Times were simpler then, and there was "animal matter" and everything esle, which was called "vegetable matter." These terms were used very broadly and for the purpose of simplification. Although vegemite isn’t made of vegetables, it is made of vegetable matter.Even now you’ll hear people refer to "vegetative growth" when they are talking about mitotic division of yeast cells versus meiotic divisions.BotchedP.S. Has anyone else had that @#$%*! song running through their head for 36 HOURS STAIGHT NOW????

  5. a says:

    botched: yeah, just the other day, my friends and i were talking about ‘vegetative growth’ when we were talking about mitotic division of yeast cells versus meiotic divisions. crazy.

  6. Unknown says:

    What a coincidence! Just the other day, my friends and I were ALSO talking about ‘vegetative growth’ when we were talking about mitotic division of yeast cells versus meiotic divisions. We are opposed to all of them on principle. We like vegemite. It is certainly superior to, and less likely to contain hooves or eyeballs, than something apparently eaten by many U.S. citizens called "potted meat product." EEEEEUUUUUWWWWWWW!I will concede that it is an acquired taste. If you were raised eating it, it’s just ordinary to you, though. I read somewhere that if you eat something you dislike ten times (not all at once but within some reasonable time frame, not in your lifetime), you will lose your dislike for it. It somehow trains your brain. I’m all for anything that trains my brain.Hugs,MuMo

  7. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    Caloi-Rider – Yes, he’s caught but that only means something in Antrim County. The FBI watchlist will no doubt still have me tainted for decades.nikared – petty crime, I doubt it. He was a legend. One of the 10 most wanted, no less.Botched – the uni photo is from May, I only became a fatty clone in about September. Vegemite is an "acquired" taste. Once you have adjusted to it you can’t go without. It’s a great song, isn’t it.nikared – we would get on so well in real life. Sarcasm = power beyond belief.MuMo – I’ve been doing the half a sit up thing for years now and I still don’t like getting out of bed. What’s up with that?

  8. Ariane says:

    Hehe… for a while there, googling my name actually would bring up MY very own personal poster. I think they’ve finally taken it down though… I am going to ask my local co-op to order this Veg-ee-mite. I am afraid.

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