I’m a wanted man, and it’s not Angelina Jolie that is after me.
Apart from the dismal finances of a university student supporting a family of 5, there is another reason I will not be visiting the USA soon. I was on the computer on Sunday and since fatty was away I got so bored I decided to look myself up. I found me, that was no surprise. But what I also found was very unnerving.
Here is me, Michael Leask, cover-child for mature age students at my university.
Here is not me, Michael Leask, criminal wanted by the Antrim County sherriff’s department in Michigan.
This man has far too much in common with me to be comfortable. Let’s look at this logically. If you were a wanted man, what would you change about yourself?
I could never be mistaken for being 6 foot 1. Or 190 pounds. But he has the same name as me (different middle name). He is born the same year as me. His date of birth is off by 6 months and 2 days.
If I am on the Michigan’s Antrim county 10 mosted wanted list, I suspect that I am also on the Homeland Security watchlist. I suspect that the fact he has been caught won’t mean much if they "catch" me. That means I will be held up for hours at every airport I use. It means that if I made it out of the airport to take my kids to Disneyland, a simple speeding ticket would become a visit to Guantanamo Bay. Thanks, but no thanks.
So if we are destined to meet in the next half-decade or so, it will be on my turf. You are all welcome to visit. We’ll let anyone in. Hell, we even let Tom Cruise marry one of our women.