There has been an exciting development


This is a fairly short post, but it is of pivotal importance for the society with no name and no eyes.


Right from the start our secret society was missing something.  Nothing critical.  Just a little something.  Today Progressive Pilgrim was indoctrinated into Ocularus Incognitus, and simultaneously, the one small problem for this most un-secret of secret societies has been resolved.


I am about to spear off on a tangent, but it’s a necessary tangent so stick with me.  Several years ago there was a movie starring my friend and neighbour, Nicole Kidman (well, she is from Australia) and that idiot from outer space, Tom Cruise.  Remember Eyes Wide Shut.  I’ll bet that secret society had a mascot.  All the best secret societies do.  In fact even the most mundane clubs often have a mascot.  Now, we are not as elitist or promiscuous as the organisation that Mr Cruise tried to infiltrate, but we are equally entitled to have a mascot.


This rates special mention for one very important reason.


When I received the photo of the Progressive Pilgrim, it came pre-prepared with a white strip.  A WHITE STRIP.  Unorthodox to say the least.  But then I looked a little closer at the photograph. 





I have already said that every secret society needs a mascot and the goat is probably the most "secret society" of all the mascots in the entire animal kingdom.  So it’s only appropriate that the goat keeper has a ceremonial white strip, rather than the traditional black strip of adult members.


♫All hail the keeper of the goat♫

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84 Responses to There has been an exciting development

  1. Unknown says:

    Are eye strips expensive?

  2. Mrs. David says:

    (In monotone chant)ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE GOAT! ALL HAIL…..(Whisper to the next banded member: It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!)newbrooklyner: If you have to ask……..then you’d fit right in! Big Mike: the pistol whipping has begun! Did you see Nicared got picked up too? This society has perks!~Sia

  3. Stephen says:

    My thanks to you Mikey, and of course to all the other members of OI. I am deeply humbled to be honored with the post of "Keeper of the Goat", and will do my utmost to deserve the confidence you and the other members have placed in me, and to uphold all the glorius traditions of the order which have not yet been defined.With my appointment to this most prestigious post, my life’s highest desire has now been fulfilled, and I can now die a happy man.Just not today.s.

  4. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    sorry, dunno how I double posted, msn acting wierd! I only clicked once!

  5. Big Guy on a Bicycle says:

    StormcrowePrime,Been there, done that, always embarassing.StormcrowePrime,Been there, done that, always embarassing.ALL HAIL THE … <Uh, what was that again? Oh, OK> …KEEPER OF THE GOAT! LONG MAY … <Hey waitress, could you freshen this drink for me? Thanks> … HE REIGN!Why am I suddenly reminded of teeth-whitening strips? Will the stripe brighten the whites of your eyes? That would be cool.

  6. Big Guy on a Bicycle says:

    Did I really sign that comment ‘Big Goat’? Must have been a freudian half-slip.

  7. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    newbrooklyner – they’re as cheap as the rest of me.Unintelligentsia – according to the Geneva Convention you are only obliged to give them your name rank and serial number. After that just continue the chant.Pilgrim – welcome, and you’re welcome.Stormy – once the organisation gets to a size where we can afford to scare off potential members, there may be some form of initiation. But not right now. We don’t want to lose the goat.Big Goat – please back off. I don’t need mental images involving a man in any kind of slip. Maybe you could start a club for people with Fruedian slips. You could call it VOCABULARUS INCOMPITUS.

  8. Unknown says:

    Big MIKE–I could use one of those handy strips so that I could wander my office incognito. I could also anonymously walk about the house virtually unnoticed. What are the chances of me getting ahold of one of those things? I am not particular as to color. I just need the anonymity.

  9. JC says:

    hi mikehappy thanksgiving. i am so honored. first that you visit my space, second that you offer me membership in the secret society. i must admit i am envious of stevie wonderful aka pilgrim…i have no goat, but i have a dog that looks and jumps like bambi:Di would be honored. yes, that is me in the middle on aug 20 photo album along with my angels. so tell me what to do next and by all means i beansjc

  10. Sue says:

    I’m not sure how to take your suggestion that I ride a bus from the US to Oz. . .I can take credit for about 10 of your hits per day. And I can say that I knew you back when. It’ll be no time before Nicole and Robbie are calling you to come over for dinner.I’m really trying to bridge the goat to cycling. . .All I can come up with is that you probably felt like a goat after your public display of cycling prowess involving the rollers.Botched

  11. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    Rocky – I’d love to give you the official tattoo. They work great. Since I’ve had mine, hardly anyone stops me in the street for an autograph (nothings changed in that department really). Email me you favourite picture and I’ll give it due attention. Just remember, as the clubs official KBH, I would appreciate it if you would stand next to someone else in the group photo at the annual picnic (just in case).behindisdonetodayisnew – I’ll sort out your membership after work today. Remember to bring the steak… um, bambi-dog to the annual picnic.Botched – how am I getting 10 hits from you? Have you got 10 friends or are you stalking me? The bridge – there’s heaps of cheesy jokes here, maybe it’s goats cheese.

  12. Big Guy on a Bicycle says:

    No, I’ve never worn a slip (or half-slip). A kilt, perhaps, but I am of Scottish ancestry, so there is nothing deviant about that.Rocky, you can stand next to me for the photo. I’ve had enough of my own bad karma, so maybe we can cancel each other out somewhat.

  13. AO says:

    i’m not standing next to rocky or big guy at our photo-op.

  14. Ariane says:

    What a cute goat. Shouldn’t he also have an eye strip? What some enemy goat recognizes him? He could wind up with a crazed goat-stalker.Unintelligentsia– What pistol whipping…?

  15. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    nikared – you can stand next to me. At least then it’ll look like I have hair.Toad – nice pick up. I have now given the goat adequate protection within the society. The pistol whipping was part of the interrogation by the MSN editors. Unintelligentsia and nikared are both featured this week and there is some sort of secret backroom interview thing going on. I just reminded Unintelligentsia not to give up the password or secret handshake.

  16. TexasGirlJen says:

    OK — your blog is HILARIOUS! I love it! When I have more time, I’ll definitely be back to read more!Have a good dayj.

  17. Laura says:

    Don’t Maskots have names? We can’t keep calling him ‘goat’ can we?

  18. Kelly says:

    You are one funny man. Love the humor in your words. I feel a bit like a spectator in the arena of your O.I. members and it’s hilarious to watch. I’m cheering you all on!Kelly

  19. Lana says:

    Had to stop by and see who the hell has such great weather on Thangsgiving! Gosh I am jealous! I am going to have to check out your blog! Have a great day down unda mate! 😉

  20. Unknown says:

    Do you think the goat would mind standing next to me in group photo? Surely goats don’t buy into all that KBH mumbo jumbo, right? Email address, please. I will forward the, soon-to-be-photo-of-infamy.

  21. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    TexasGirlJennifer – if you had an audible reading any of this junk you qualify for the society with no name and no eyes.Pale Purple Penguin (tehe) – I’m thinking about a post for a competition. Thanks for giving my something to lay awake at night pondering.MochaMommaTeacher – Humour is a self-defence mechanism. If I can make you laugh, maybe you won’t beat me up in the playground (whoa, a flashback). So you like to watch… we accept voyeurs. Email a picture and I’ll take great pleasure in smearing a vegemite strip over the eyes.Lanamf79 – There are 3 a’s in maaate, and you have to say it through your nose. Where I live it’s just the same as Florida, except no alligators and no Cubans. Just so you know, last night was freezing… 65F but by 8:30 this morning it was back up to 78. Come back anytime, the goat doesn’t bite.Rocky – I’m sure we could hang a piece of cabbage around your neck so the goat would play with you. Email address is wrapped around my name below.

  22. Kelly says:

    You are hilarious…I’ve just spent half an hour reading through your blog…I was supposed to be washing dishes, but forget that. This has been more fun…Some info about me…I named my dog Angus after your cute, but extremely short AC/DC guitar player…and I’ve eaten vegemite straight out of a jar. I think it must be an acquired taste because I was sick for an hour. Or maybe I just needed to spread it on some bread with a slice of cheese. I’ll try that next time.I love your space…I’ll be back for more!Kelly

  23. Stephen says:

    000O ( ) \ ( \ \ (_ ) Just passing through.Thought I’d say Hi! O000 ( ) ) / / / (__)Hope you and yours had a great T-Day!s.

  24. Stephen says:

    Hmmm … My "footprints" got squished…back to the drawing board (pun)s.

  25. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    arkansasgirl2006 – Angus Young isn’t short, he’s concentrated. Vegemite can’t be eaten straight. It would even put tough guys like Russell Crowe and Eric Bana in hospital. Thinly spread on bread (with cheese if you must).Pilgrim – I installed a bigfoot filter.

  26. Kelly says:

    If I eat vegemite correctly…can I join your club?? hahaKelly

  27. Toni says:

    HI big mike. I find this an interesting space. Unfortunately, I only had time to read the latest entry, but found myself laughing throughout. I happened upon this spaceafter reading that I actually had a comment left on MY space! lol…thanks for your input. Amazingly, the man I wrote most of those poems for or about, is also from Queensland. Anyway, it was nice to see that there are some good family oriented men still out there and they are still into their wives. It gives me hope that it’s still out there waiting for me. lol You didn’t say whether u thought the poetry was good or garbage which makes me wonder. Up until now, only my friends and the recipient of the poems have ever read them. An outside critique would do me some good i think. so, if you ever have the time, I would really like to hear the truth, from someone who doesnt know me, about whether it stinks and sounds liek a schoolgirl writing in her diary, or whether it may actually have some potential. Thanks again for your space, it was terrific!

  28. Darlene says:

    AWESOME blog….had me laughing…My hubby owns an Aussie-themed restaurant…can I play too?Will be back to read in depth….Darlene

  29. TexasGirlJen says:

    I’m so excited!…. well, actually, honored to become a bonafide member of this organization. And, if I might add, love the black line across my eyes… it makes me look thinner, right?!I am too tired to read more right now, but I’ll be back tomorrow. Thank you for accepting me into this prestigious organization, dear sir.j

  30. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    arkansasgirl2006 – that’s all it takes.american_mum34 – my goal in life is to make people smile. My wife’s getting jealous about all the ladies saying nice things about me. If those poems were written to me, I’d be on the next plane.DarSmithRN – let me know if there is anything I can do to help with "Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year". Don’t tell my wife I said that.TexasGirlJennifer – you’re welcome.

  31. cosmogrl says:

    Here! Here! (clinking glasses) I have to agree with Pengs, though—shouldn’t he have a better name? Ocugoatus Incognitus? Ocularis Incogoatus? Maybe we could just go with Bubba or something equally lame….. hehehe Hope your T-day rocked!–Wen 🙂

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