I was sitting thinking about who, and what, made me happy, made me proud, made me feel safe. And how I did my version of the same thing in my sphere of influence. Here’s what I could decipher from what was flying round in my head.
My hero list
The (at) HOME team
My mum who raised my 2 sisters and I with minimal involvement from my father or the authorities.
My dad who brought home the money (instead of drinking, smoking and gambling it all away) and stayed out of the way to let mum get on with raising the family.
My wife who laughed at my jokes (and still does), who has changed me from a troubled and troublesome 23 year old into a sensible (mostly), mature (sometimes), responsible (occasionally) participant in a picture perfect family.
My wife (yes, twice! At least) who has given me 3 beautiful children and a safe loving home for them to become adults in.
My 3 kids who make me smile and make me proud every day.
The (far) AWAY team
All of my Ocularis Incognitus and blogging friends (friends at least, maybe even family) – thank you for helping to put the world in perspective. The stories you tell that give people hope and make people smile are priceless.
All of the commenters – you are the internet equivalent of the difference between a house and a home.
All of the lurkers – I know you exist. I write for you too, and I respect your need for privacy and anonymity. You are welcome in my space (I’m sure I speak for all bloggers here).
The (in my) DREAM team
Will Smith II – Emmy, Grammy, Oscar (pending) and possibly the only man on the planet who can rap without swearing. That’s talent.
John Cusack – I grew up with John Cusack. Well… I didn’t grow up with John himself, I grew up with Lane Meyer, Lloyd Dobler and Walter Gibson. And when you get to know him through his work, you will come to see an amazing continuity. Through these 3 foundation characters I have mentioned, all of his future roles could have grown. Lloyd Dobler grew up to be Martin Blank or Vince Larkin. Lane Meyer grew up to be Rob Gordon or Craig Schwartz. Walter Gibson grew up to be Nick Falzone or Jonathan Trager.
My personal attempt at being a hero
I don’t want to be the Marlboro™ man. I have never tried to be a hero. I don’t want to. It scares me. I haven’t plucked a child from in front of a truck. I haven’t saved an invalid from a burning building. I haven’t even rescued a pet from a tree.
In fact, I’m downright soft. I cry at funerals. I cried when my children were born (for the joy, not for the future expense). I cry at weddings. I cry when my children do something thoughtful or compassionate without prompting. I even cry at the happy endings of chick-flicks.
I don’t want to be a hero. I don’t want all the media attention and lose of privacy. I’m happy with where I am and what I do. I’m enough of a hero in the places that matter to me. My mother, my wife and my children smile when I enter a room. That and a clear conscience is all I need. I want my children to be proud of me for my love and attention. I want my children to trust me enough that we can be friends when they are teenagers. I want my wife to still like me after the children are grown and gone.
That’s all I want. My whole life orbits around that set of objectives.