Another lesson in the differences between OZ and US


Something nasty occurred on Sunday.  My sons had their karate Christmas party at the beach (that’s not nasty).  It was 85 fahrenheit at 10am (that’s not too nasty).  I filled and tied about 350 waterbomb balloons (my thumbs are raw and tender but that’s not nasty).  I put 30+ sunscreen on my face, head, neck, arms and legs (I wore a shirt all day so that’s not nasty).

 

Here’s where it gets nasty.

 

I was bending over awkwardly to make the water bombs.  This exposed a part of me to the sun that didn’t have sunscreen applied.  Ladies and gentlemen, I have severe sunburn in the thong region.

 

Here’s where the lesson comes from.

 

This photo shows an Australian thong being worn correctly.

 

And this photo shows the severely burnt "thong region".

 

Thus ends today’s lesson on what the word thong means in Australia.

 

Subject change pending.  Transition paragraph ahead.

 

I went to work Monday and delivered 149 parcels in steel-capped work boots with a foot looking like that.  Let me just say that every little grain of sand that ended up in my boot caused the most amazing discomfort. 

 

Subject change.

 

We’re still talking about differences but this is a different difference.  While the Fat Cyclist, Al Maviva and Toad Pizza are talking about the cold, I’m constantly butting in and making snide references to how I’m suffering in my environment.

 

How’s the weather where you are?

 

Fortunately for his royal fat sweatiness (me), the first workday of the week only got to 90 fahrenheit according to the Bureau of Meteorology.  Of course, inside my vehicle with the doors sealed and locked to keep everyone’s Christmas presents secure, I’m sure it got closer to 120.

 

If you want to know how hot it was, and how much I sweat, you can do a little biology experiment.  From 7am to 4pm I drank 5 litres of water and 2 litres of soft drink.  That’s close to 2 US gallons of fluids in 9 hours.  During that time and for 2 hours after I did not pee.  Every drop of it came out through my skin and then through my shirt and then created a nasty cumulonimbus cloud over my suburb.  I’ve just thrown the shirt out in the yard and am trying to decide whether to burn it or just put it in the rubbish as it is and hope it doesn’t eat through the side of the bin before collection day.

 

My permanent post script.

 

If you love your fellow man but aren’t sure how to display your love, visit here to discover how easy it is to help.

 

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87 Responses to Another lesson in the differences between OZ and US

  1. serf says:

    Ouch! That hurts like the dickens! I’ve experienced “thong burn” numerous times at beaches. Not being from the deep end on the gene pool, it took me a while to determine why I kept getting “thong burn” (except most of the time I wasn’t wearing thongs – I was running around naked of said thongs). Each morning, I would apply the necessary protective ointment and still get burned (but only in the thong area). It was the sand!‘rett

  2. Zed says:

    I grew up referring to those as thongs as well. Unfortunately, Americans, it seems, use the term "flip-flops." Weird. I can’t say ‘thong’ without getting a weird look anymore.

  3. tayfuryagci says:

    I used to call those kind of slippers "surf" or "hawai" slippers. and THATS a nasty burn!just honoured to be part of O.I …tayfur

  4. Unknown says:

    Call it sour grapes…call it whatever you want. You deserve the sunburn because the only kind of burn I can currently get is freezer burn. The weather man says the it will be 18 degrees for the high today. Snow is expected overnight, which will warm the place all the way up to 32. Yes. Of course I am speaking in Farenheit.

  5. Christy says:

    I remember the summer before we married my exhusband sunburned the tops of his feet. He was in agony for a couple weeks. Myself, I got my shoulders and had to have a wedding dress fitting w/ sunburned shoulders. Even though it’s snowing fit to beat the band here in Colorado, USA, I feel for you. Nothing worse than working on feet that hurt.

  6. Bree says:

    I don’t know if its a youth thing or an American thing but I use the word flip-flops…however my doctors uses the word thong. Imagine my surprise when sitting in his office for a sore throat he comments on my nice thongs. It actually took me a second to realize what he was talking about.

  7. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    I had a girfriend get a thong burn and couldn’t sit down for a week! ::GRIN::

  8. JC says:

    oh your poor little tootsie makes me hurt just to look at.WOW…i came by to ask when and if I was to be brought into the club and lo and behold not just me, but annie and chloe as well.thank you, i am so very honored!i too am suffering the heat. we have had a brief cool down of 60’s for today…and I just booked tickets to fly to NY for the week after Christmas so I know I will get to experience winter. YIPEEE it has been too long for me. plus the girls have never seen snow…so God Willing there will be snow when we get there.hope your foot is better. do you have aloe? does help as well as aspirin. but no beer or alcohol…most think it might numb the burn but in reality it increases the pain.thanks again for the honor….love it.i will returnIN HIS GRIPjc

  9. Stephen says:

    I can commiserate with you…Here in Las Vegas this past summer, during one 12 day period in Mid-July, it reached AT LEAST 110 (F) EVERY day. Temperatures in excess of 120 (F) were not at all uncommon during that time span.It reached AT LEAST 95 degrees (F) EVERY DAY for over 60 straight days.And over 90 (F) for over 3 months, beginning in June, and not ending until the end of September. But of course it’s a dry heat, right? Yeah right – lemme tell ya sumthin – hot is hot – dry, wet, or anywhere in between.The good news in all this is that when I arrive in H$LL, I will already be well acclimated to the weather there. 🙂

  10. Unknown says:

    Hello, I am an editor with MSN’s "What Your Story?" project. Can you please e-mail me with your contact information? I’m at Joan.Wolfe@msnbc.com. Thanks!

  11. Laura says:

    We called them thongs in cheesehead land be we are weird…At mom and dads in Packerland it was the high of 2 today. (fein.)In my world,It is currently 48 at 8:15pm, but the high of the day was a sunny and breezey 72… (ta He)Peng

  12. Unknown says:

    Thank you for clipping your toenails before shooting that podia-trait. Um, wax next time?xoxox

  13. Bryn says:

    U know where i live Mike. It’s around 35 degrees Celcius on this great Wednesday afternoon. There’ll most prob be some sort of storm round here tonight Can’t wait til my new pool is finished. Hope that sunburn doesn’t decide to peel. You have to know how bad it is when u get sunburn and peel while still maintaining the sun tan that occurs because we Australians wear thongs every day. Oh yeah good luck with your Degree, although your on your hols at the moment i believe. I personally don’t have any interest in any branches of science as i enter my final year of schooling down on the great Gold Coast. Happy Holidays Mike!

  14. Unknown says:

    low of -2C last night, had to defrost the cars this morning. Probably reach 8C today. If the wind is from the north or east, it gets cold but usually dry. If the wind is from the west it is warmer but rainy. Worst sunburn I ever got was in Arizona where we were touring on our tandem. I needed clean socks, so I washed some but couldn’t dry them. Someone suggested putting them in the microwave. I melted two holes in them. Next day I got burned through the holes, right between the top of my foot and my ankle, where you move it most. Every pedal stroke was agony for a couple of days. We also got blisters on our ears and I even got burned through the crocheted backs of my cycling gloves. Best holiday I’ve ever had.I almost bought a T shirt in Sedonna that had two vultures pecking at a skeleton, one saying "Yes but its a dry heat".CheersTim

  15. Sus says:

    Hahaha!!! Don’t mock me with your "australia’s one day ahead of you" ways!!! By the way, your burn in the "thong region" was absolutely hilarious! Thanks for coming to visit my blog. Come back soon. :)Sus.PS. Does anyone in australia have eyes? Just kidding.You have a lovely family…except for the unfortunate line across their faces…tragic.

  16. a says:

    don’t throw away that shirt until it is able to stand up on its own…hey congrats if you are about to become the next "best of MSN"!

  17. Mrs. David says:

    A "nasty cumulonimbus cloud" from that source would produce some rain that one ought to warn their neighbors about, and probably put in the dog. Have you put any aloe vera gel on that burn? Yikes…we’re just getting wind burn here. It’s not terribly cold..4 or 5 C, nor have we had much precipitation. Thank God we are not in the same hemisphere as the sweat cloud! I don’t even want to think about what kind of snow THAT would make!

  18. Mrs. David says:

    And dear, when the pistol whipping commences…you DO have the secret pass codes. Will you be strong? Should we give you the cyanide pill, just in case?

  19. Kelly says:

    I don’t care how hot it is or where you live. There is NO excuse to show us your naked feet online! Where’s my O.I. black bar to shield my precious eyes??? Huh?Funny nevertheless, Mike. As usual!Kellyp.s. Can you send me the pic you doctored up for me so I can put it on my site? Please? Please? 😉

  20. Fat Cyclist says:

    is that blistering? looks like it’s close to it.

  21. Unknown says:

    That looks like a serous burn, luv, and I hope you’ll take plenty of care not to get infection. Keep it medicated and bandaged carefully, at least, especially in nasty, sweaty yabba boots!And speaking of thong burns, one of my daughters bought a thong bathing suit for her honeymoon in Hawaii in 1990, Portions of her anatomy which had not seen sunlight since 1970 were exposed… ’nuff said.I always called the flip-flops "thongs" and still do. I tried the other kind but it’s rather like flossing one’s bum and I tired of the idea in a hurry.Hugs,MuMo

  22. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    creationww – I never got to see the sand. I was busy trying to burn off my left foot.Caloi-Rider – apparently in New Zealand they are jandals.Tayfur – slippers is new.Rocky – Don’t let your tongue get stuck to the ice on the freezer door. I got home from work today and the thermometer outside said 34C(92F). The one inside said 24C(75F). I love my airconditioning.ShortFatMama – with me it’s always the feet.mystico13 – flip-flops was the name used where I’m from in Melbourne.StormcrowePrime – in Australia that would be a g-string… or for some people, a g-rope.behindisdonetodayisnew – I’ve only ever seen snow once when I was 11 and visiting relatives in New Zealand. It was on a bus trip and we drove past Mount Cook.Pilgrim – agreed. But the good news is, in a dry heat you die of dehydration faster therefore you suffer less.Peng – your world sounds almost "normal".brooklyn – I had part of one leg waxed once. ONCE! How you ladies endure tearing hair out by the roots in all those delicate places is destined to remain a mystery.BiKnBrYn – I blame the teachers for your lack of interest, and (stepping onto soapbox) I shall save the world from teenage academic complacency when I graduate.Tim-D – I thought you were supposed to put your socks on the back of the fridge.buddherfly – the eye bars are the mark of a secret society. If you need to know the secret of the secret society go to the link in the top right corner named Ocularus Incognitus.nikared – I just went to check on the shirt. As I opened the back door it hit me full-tilt in the chest and started swinging wildly at my head. It’s sad when they get that way. My wife and I took it for a walk down the back yard and everything is OK now. I’m a bit choked up about it but the shirt has gone to a better place now. I still don’t know how I’ll break it to the kids.Unintelligentsia – It still hasn’t rained, but most of the trees in the back yard are wilting. I’ll be strong.MochaMomma – Naked feet hey? I must remember that for when I visit the US. Do you want them waxed too, or is it just brooklyn that likes them clipped AND smooth.fatty – I think that might be the texture of the sock I had on all day.MuMo – it can’t be too bad. It’s 4 days old and hasn’t blistered yet. I think there should be a law passed regarding the use of thong underwear. It must not be worn when any one of the following occurs: you turn 30, you are over 150 pounds, you are pregnant. There are some exceptions to these rules but not many.

  23. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    By the way, Mike, when ya going to update my link? I moved my blog to msn side. That’s right, I just joined the "Evil Empire"!

  24. earlena says:

    Hi it’s MrsStormcrowe here. Sorry to here about the sunburn, that is an ouch. I loved your comment on my blog. Hope you like the cookies. The Mrs

  25. Unknown says:

    Well, it’s official now… you are on Best of MSN! Three of the four this week are my friends, same as last week! It’s amazing! HUGE HUGE HUGE Congratulations!MuMo

  26. cosmogrl says:

    LMAO! I live in Arizona and have burned my feet many times–among other things…..ahem….. I feel your pain. The weather here this time of year is awesome. 70’s to as low as the forties. We sometimes have cold spells where believe it or not, it gets below freezing. It’s rare though–at least in the valley where I live. Northern AZ is another story. But, I’m definetly enjoying the weather right now! –Wen 🙂

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  35. bu says:

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  36. bu says:

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  37. bu says:

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  38. bu says:

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