Dear Diary

I visited mum this week and she had been cleaning out the garage.  As usual there were a few boxes of my old stuff that came to light.  There were some fascinating bits of junk in those dusty time-capsules.  Paper one dollar and two dollar notes (Australia has had one and two dollar coins since the early ‘80s).  My INXS Listen Like Thieves cassette. And an old diary. 

 

Those yellowed pages brought back amazing memories.  Some good, some not so good, and some downright creepy.  There were entries about friends (not many), girlfriends (even less), school (too many) and random other topics.

 

One particular entry from my diary really stood out, coming close on the heels of Errorista’s recent diary spoof (whether it was fact or fiction is still under debate, but apparently there were more than a few mumbled curses, and a very suspicious fire soon after that post came to light).

 

But here’s mine: 

 

 

 

6th May, 1982

 

Dear Diary

 

WOW!  It’s Thursday already.  I was bored after school so I helped with some of the housework.  I find working around the house with mummy a heart-warming joy.  Helping with the dusting.  Folding the laundry.  Preparing snacks for company.  It’s like a fairytale. 

 

Speaking of fairytales, I saw a few moments of a fabulous new show on television tonight.  It was a silly little game show parody with ridiculous activities to embarrass and humiliate the contestants.  Some of the things the host says are a little strange but the audience laughed so it must be OK.  It was called Sticky Moments with Julian Clarey.  I called mummy in to show her, and asked if I could put the season 1 video on my Christmas list.

 

I was watching my video of “Peter Allen Live” again earlier and even after one hundred and seventeen times, I still get goose bumps when he dances with the maracas during the instrumental break in I Go To Rio.  I’m trying to learn some of those moves for the prom.

 

I feel like I should watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show in my underwear before bed time.  I think I would be great as Brad if they ever do a remake.  I totally have all his lines nailed.

 

Bye for now

Michael

 

 

Dear Diary update

 

WOW!!!  I just remembered something I saw in a magazine today.  Guys shave their legs to race push-bikes.  I might give that a go, it sounds like fun.  I wonder if I should buy the bike first or just go ahead and shave my legs and see if I like it.

 

Bye again

M.L.

 

 

I guess that explains why I continued to shave my legs long after my cycling activity had fallen into the category 3 levels below recreational.

 

 

My permanent post script.

 

If you love your fellow man but aren’t sure how to display your love, visit here to discover how easy it is to help.

 

 

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54 Responses to Dear Diary

  1. lea says:

    LOL!!!!!! wow! lol…i’m only 15 and i’ve kept diaries for like forever and yea i go and look back on them and boy! man did i used to be dumb!! lol it’s fun though. so yea…you don’t know me and my blog ain’t fantastic but stop by or drop me an email you are a pretty funny person. lol.

  2. Suzanne says:

    So the next big challenge is to see if you can play the maracas while in your underwear. Though I think it would help if you shaved your legs first…

  3. Laura says:

    So does your diary recall your thought on the Peter Allen Liza period, or are you a purest Allen Fan?And you don’t wax it all at once, just a small section at a time for every missed goal… That way you only get to the calf when it dawns on you how much less painful it is to follow your guidelines…PengP.S. See!!!! There are a lot of Ranting Penguins in the world…, but only one that’s Lilac ( insert my evil little Lilac laugh….)

  4. Unknown says:

    Ya got me Big Mike! I looked and I do have a scar there!Your wife must be a good woman, I know when I started dating that I wouldn’t go near a guy that had legs smoother than mine. Is she worried at all about the Peter Allen and Rocky Horror leanings? <weg> But I guess it would balance out if you enjoy doing the housework lol!Lucky.

  5. Labatt Blue girl says:

    I agree with Suzanne on the next challenge

  6. Stephen says:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ooooO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(……..)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(……)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\…..(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(___)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Continuing computer Problems – just did aPost about it. Be back to read and visit soon.Promise.s. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(…….)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\….…)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ )..…/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(___)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  7. MÏZÒ says:

    Nice Space :)Keep it Up Your Friend Mizo [Mohammed]

  8. Unknown says:

    Looks like your blogging career started early, lol

  9. Simone says:

    lol ok so maybe you shave your legs and you don’t cycle BUT you are really funny so it is all worth it in the end 🙂 Keep shaving your legs, playing maracas and as you wrote on my blog waking up at 11 am lol God how I envy you that 11am 😉 Keep smiling

  10. Sue says:

    MIKE, if you start doing large amounts of negative work, you are primed and ready to start the PhD! For example, Thursday, I found out that I am at the same point in my research that I was a month ago, and that’s in spite of about 250 hours of work during the last month.I take back what I said about your sunburned feet, or at least what I said about it making my day. Turns out I had a crap day anyway!Botched

  11. serf says:

    Let us know the actual facts. Which came first? Shaving or bike? Maybe the bike came first? (but I have my suspicions it didn’t)Perhaps you shaved in secret and liked the experience so much you had to go get a bike to justify continuing to shave? Or was the driving force, behind the shaving and bike, a hidden longing to wear the skin tight cyclist clothes? The clothes which fit like the underwear donned while watching Rocky Horror Picture Show.And we probe into a deeper level. Did the early obsession with shaving, bike, cyclist clothes, underwear and Rocky Horror Picture Show derail you from your true calling to be a physics teacher, until 2005? The real question may be this. When ‘rett fell off the Arkansas turnip truck did he land on his head, causing him to ask such questions?‘rett

  12. Crystal says:

    Hi there!Just came upon your space and wanted to invite you to come join my Love Train.You will find the link on the right of my space.Hope to see you soon :)Crystal

  13. Steven says:

    When did you say that diary entery was from? I don’t remember that show from untill the late 80’s, like 89′ or 90′. How’s the thong burn doing? I’ll try to send some money to you this week for the World Vision thing or things. Will there be a vote on what will be purchased, or will it depend on the amount?

  14. THEODORE says:

    Hahaha! Kudos to you, BIG Mike, for having the guts to blog that. My own diary pages would burn before I’d post them on the internet for all the world to see. And you did it during the week that you’re being featured! (congrats by the way). Do you start all your diary entries with the word "WOW!"? I think the prize for your previous post should be an original autographed copy of one of your diaries, WITH ALL THE PAGES STILL INTACT!

  15. Unknown says:

    Maracas in your skivvies? And all this time I thought they were called "cojones." Silly me! I guess things are just, well, um… different in Oz.Thank you for being so open and honest… lord knows what revelations will come out of the woodwork now.Hugs,MuMo

  16. Kelly says:

    Oh, dear. Now there’s this image of you in your undies (albeit with the black bar across your eyes) dancing around. Also, that "I Go to Rio" song is now stuck in my head. Can you give us ladies a tip on shaving? Have you found something magical that does the trick for you or are you as perplexed by this as we all are? And, when you DON’T shave, does your wife get upset by the stubbly legs?So many questions, so disturbed by this diary entry.Kelly

  17. Unknown says:

    Hey Mike in OZ, is your wife OK with you being bisexual. Or does she not know yet. Did you choose to repress your sexuality for the sake of the being accepted that comes with the life of a straihgt man. At least part of you wnats the world to know i guess becuase you printed this blog while your being linked on the Best of Msn homepage.You for sure want us to know that your not straight by this post, but it’s hard to square against all the pix of your kids in your space here

  18. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    Dunno if someone was trying to be humorous here, and fell flat(And it ain’t Mike or any other OI!), but his blog apparently doesn’t have any entries in it either!

  19. Mrs. David says:

    Would that be one of those fairytales where there is a kid in an oven or a guy sewing a dress from human skin? They definitely raise ’em different in Oz. How was that Prom? Win the dance contest?

  20. Andy says:

    It is wonderful to note how the diaries of ourselves reflect truly who we are. Yours sound interesting to say the least, Great entry, it brings back memories. Take care. -Andy

  21. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    Before I make a start on specific replies I must say to all and sundry. SUCKED IN!!! This posting had as much truth as Errorista’s "kick me" sign pasted on her brother’s back a week ago.chaloubee – us old folks can be fun to hang out with.Suzanne – I wonder if Peter Allen would approve. If I owned maracas, I would surely play them, in my underwear, with vigor and glee.Peng – purist. I may as well just pluck nose hairs one at a time, thanks. P.S. You’ll always be pale purple to me.Lucky – it’s a package deal. She threatened to leave if my legs got hairy.UneditedLabattbluegirl – this fame thing is pretty cool. I’ve got a bunch of girls who think it would be good for a 270 lb man to dance in his underwear to Peter Allen songs. Groupies…Pilgrim – do you know anyone from Microsoft? If you do you could just get a chip installed in your head and save all the trouble with the box on your desk.MIZO – thanksAl – it’s strange that nobody’s sarcasm radar has gone off with this one.BeeBoo – My wife wakes at 11 am, I’m up at 6.Botched – so you still haven’t found a Y chromosome in Michael Jackson yet?creationww – all good questions. Maybe one day…Crystal – but will you respect me in the morning?TheEvilTwin – Sticky Moments was 1989 & 1990. Poetic license to the author of this satirical piece. The burn is now a tan. We’re up to nearly 3 goats worth of money. I’ll post something after the weekend to open a discussion.TigerlilyHobbit – beep, beep, beep. Don’t you hear it. That’s the sarcasm radar going off.MuMo – The difference in OZ is that we are not homophobic. I embrace the possibility. And laugh at everyone who took the bait.Kelly – I started shaving my legs when I was riding over 10,000 miles a year. Now I’d be lucky to ride 500. But my wife threatened to leave me if I stopped shaving my legs. And there’s no secret, it’s a long sometimes painful task.KalmPanick – I haven’t repressed my sexuality. I have exposed my sense of humour. I have also exposed a broad cross-section of the blogging world who can’t smell a joke when it’s parked on their top lip.Stormy – there are several "hollow" personalities with opinions. Unintelligentsia – I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t get a date.blatant_expo_andy – It’s interesting that a spoof entry can bring back real memories…

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