Here are a few seemingly unrelated facts.
#1. On Saturday Mr7 had a haircut for the princely sum of $15.95.
#2. On Monday we received a letter from the rental agent reminding us that the upkeep of the yard was our responsibility. Apparently the knee-high grass was quite noticeable, even from a distance.
#3. 1595 divided by 319 equals 5.
Fast forward to Thursday.
I got home from work at about 3pm. I had been going flat out delivering parcels since 7am with the temperature peaking around 32°C (90°F). My wife had mowed the grass out the front to give the right impression to any casual observers (the letter advised of a further inspection in a week). She was due to start work at 5pm and I was in charge for the evening.
Here was my picture perfect plan.
5pm – mow the back yard.
6pm – shower (it was still 29°C/84°F).
6:30pm – grab some dinner for everyone down at the shops
7pm – let the kids wander around the shopping centre to each find a gift for their mother (our only incomplete Christmas shopping task).
Here was how my plan warped and wobbled into existence.
5pm – mow.
6pm – still mowing (it hadn’t been mowed for 4 weeks and we have had 3-4 storms a week and high temperatures, heaven for grass).
6:45pm – I finished the mowing just as the light gave out.
6:50pm – I jumped in the shower to cool off and clean-up. As I entered the bathroom I called to the children to get changed into clothes for going out.
6:55pm – As I was towelling off, Mr7 came in to tell me he couldn’t find any shoes.
It’s time to convert from a dot point summary to a word for word, blood and guts description of this event.
Me: Look outside the back door.
Mr7: OK. (turning to leave)
Mr7: Yes dad?
Me: What happened to your hair?
Mr7: Nothing. (turning quickly to leave)
Mr7: (turns back with head bowed)
Me: What happened to your hair?
Mr7: Um, me and Ms4…
Me: HERE! NOW!
Ms4: (gingerly appears in doorway)
Me: Right. What happened to your hair?
Ms4: Mr7 did it.
Mr7: No, Ms4 did it.
Me: QUIET! Get out. Both of you stand in the kitchen, I’ll be out in a minute.
The final chapter of the story.
What did I see? What’s with all the questions about their hair? A picture is worth a thousand words. But wait. I promised mathematics. Let’s tie all of the initial facts into the story. Fact #2 is easily covered. It was the cause of all this mid-week late-night lawn mowing. Fact #1 and fact #3 are the mathematics I warned you about. Mr7 had a $15.95 hair cut on Saturday. On Thursday I affected repairs on said haircut using the number one comb on the electric clippers. So our $15.95 hair cut lasted 5 days. That’s $3.19 a day. That’s a Hollywood priced haircut.
Now let’s look at the mess.
Mr7 has had the electric clippers take him back to a sad prickled little boy. Ms4 wasn’t mangled as badly. A $20 visit to the hairdresser fixed her, but her hair that was closer to her belt than her shoulders is now a bob.
What about the aftermath.
So it’s 10 days to Christmas, probably the most photographed event in our family each year. This year’s photos won’t make everyone happy when they are dragged out and dusted off in years to come. Should I sue the rental agent for causing me to ignore my children and put them in this situation? Just joking – I’m Australian; we don’t sue (much).
What about you.
Tell me all about what you got up to as a child that turned your parents grey overnight (or what your kids have done to you that turned you grey).
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