It seems I’ve been found out. I have no idea how my carefully concocted, meticulously planned, multi-layered ruse was so easily penetrated. Apparently I’m a closet blog fetishist and my previous post (according to at least one cluey commenter) was a ploy to put myself into a situation that forced me to intensify my blogging activity.
I though I was just lazy and saw this as a way of not having to come up with my own subject matter for a period of time. But in the words of my accuser "Right now, your stick seems more like a carrot in disguise." Basically I’ve been accused of constructing a competition where if I win, I win. But if I lose, I still win. Just a different prize.
I never gave myself that much credit in the sneakiness stakes, but after some reflection time I see how I have put myself in a very comfortable position. There is no real incentive to perform. If I don’t like riding and dieting, I’ll be forced to blog more, without having to come up with subjects for myself. It’s life on easy street.
So let’s modify the game a little.
The rules for winning or losing will remain the same: 1 point for riding for over an hour each day, 1 point for staying away from fast food and full sugar soft drink, and 1 point for not bingeing between dinner and bed time.
A weekly total of 16 is a pass. 15 or less is a fail and the fur starts flying.
What will my punishment be?
I’ve made a couple of suggestions in yesterdays post. Fatty thinks I’m being a bit soft on myself. Looking from the outside in, I can see his point. But being a nice guy, I just can’t think up anything truly nasty. Suzanne from A Bit of Seoul had a positively nasty idea. I can’t repeat it here because my eyes water at the mere thought of it. If you must know, go and read yesterdays comments.
But I’m guessing that’s more in line with the literal definition of a true punishment. If I stray, I must suffer. I understand the concept, but… please help me. I need inspiration as to how I should suffer. So I lay it open to you. My friends. And I mean friends in the most sincere and soulfully grovelling manner. Please be at least a little merciful.
My ground rules are:
Nothing that causes financial stress
Nothing that causes permanent scarring (of the physical kind, psychological you could probably get away with)
Nothing that will cause my mother to blush
Nothing that will get me arrested
I’ll call on a guest judge for this competition and also for the ongoing competition. Here’s how the judge will be decided. Everyone who posts a comment can nominate a punishment and a judge. I’ll add up the votes for the judge and offer the person with the most votes the job and just run down the list until I get a yes. That’s nasty. You won’t know whose sense of humour to play up to because the identity of the judge will be obscured by the terms of the game.
It’s over to you.
Post Script for bulging individuals who don’t want to bulge.
Rocky and Al were having an arm wrestle the other day and I asked if I could join in. After 40 or 50 emails back and forth, some laced with fairly personal insults aimed at taunting the others into a duel, an algorithm to compare mismatched antagonists was devised. There is a ceiling of 25 combatants on this "get healthy using a bike"fest. Go to Cold Fury to see the details.
My permanent post script
No matter how meagre your existence may seem, if you are reading this you are in a position to be a hero to people who need heroes more than you could imagine. Click here to help make a difference.