Why postal workers go postal.

 

I’m not the kind of person to fly off the handle but I am aware of the legend of the postal worker so I have been watching carefully for any signs of change in my character.  Nothing.  But I have seen some things that could easily tip a less stable person into at least a verbal tirade, if not a complete meltdown.

 

Here are some observations from this week, which is only 2 days old.

1.                   Are you are a lady over 50 years of age who could have your physical appearance reasonably accurately described by the phrase “Jabba the Hut with lipstick”?  If so, please don’t answer your front door wheezing and sweating and wearing only a towel.  I don’t want to know.

2.                   Are you a man over 70 years of age who is watching television with no pants on?  Please don’t come to the front door wearing only a t-shirt.  Especially if you have to waddle down 2 flights of stairs with your Christmas baubles swinging in the breeze.

3.                   When I knock on your front door, I do so because I need you to come to the front door.  Don’t shout at me from in front of the television without moving.  If I can’t give you the parcel, I am legally obliged to stick a card under the door advising you to go to the local Post Office after 4:00pm to collect your parcel.

4.                   If I leave a card under your door stating that your parcel will be available at the local Post Office after 4:00pm, don’t bother going to the Post Office at 11:30am and abusing the counter staff.  I have 150 parcels in my vehicle and I don’t dash down to the Post Office with each one just because no-one is home.  My job and my income are time sensitive and I will surrender all my unsuccessful deliveries to the Post Office together at the end of the day.

5.                   Loading zones are provided outside commercial premises to allow delivery vehicles easy access to the adjacent businesses.  These zones are marked by red and white signs 8 feet high and yellow lines on the ground.  If you are red/green colour blind the yellow lines should still work.  If you are yellow/blue colour blind the red signs should be great.  If you live in a house with ocean glimpses that is mortgaged to the hilt and drive a Mercedes weighed down with a lease payment that would bankrupt many African nations, this parking space is not for you.  If your Mercedes accidentally lands in this space you can expect that me and my clearly marked commercial vehicle and the XL Express van are going to park 4 inches in front and behind you and take our 45 minute lunch break.  You can’t intimidate me, the law is on my side and my vehicle is worth less than your insurance premium.

6.                   I delivered a parcel to a resort unit complex today.  It was an international parcel that required a signature.  I place the parcel and clipboard on the reception counter and said “I’ve got a parcel for Mr Surname”, put an X where I needed the signature and held out my pen.  As the staff member started to write I said “and your initial and surname printed underneath please”.  She stopped writing and put down the pen.  Her signature seemed printed and she hadn’t written anything on the second line.  So far she hasn’t smiled or uttered a single syllable.  “I’m sorry, I need your signature and printed name.  She exhaled audibly, snatched the pen and scoured an X under the printed name hard enough that the pen tore the paper.  She said “I can’t sign that name, I’m not them” thus proving she was as stupid as she was surly.  I picked up my clipboard and left, closing with “I just need the signature and name, not my stationary abused”.

When I delivered the next parcel I found myself waiting for something, anything to bite at.  I wanted a confrontation.  The woman at the resort had turned me sour.  I went back to the car and replayed the event over and over.  It wasn’t me.  It definitely wasn’t me.  So I went to the corner store and bought a six dollar box of chocolates like the ones I get my wife when I’ve done something stupid.  I doubled back and went in to the resort.  She was working on the computer with her head down.  I placed the chocolate on the counter in front of her and said “You must be having a really bad day to treat me like that unprovoked.  I hope tomorrow is a better day”.  I didn’t wait for a response.

I never once thought about getting a gun and finding out where that bitch lives.  My mother raised me with a good work ethic, good personal hygiene and good manners.  She would have been proud of my conduct today and that’s all that matters to me. 

 

But I can see how people with a shorter fuse could have let that event flip their switch.

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33 Responses to Why postal workers go postal.

  1. Fat says:

    You are a rare person. That is probably one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard anyone do for someone they didn’t know. If only the world were made up of more people who thought things through and followed up with a kind gesture. I believe this would be a better place.
     
    Have a wonderful day,
    ~ Fat Chick

  2. Sue says:

    A real gun would have been a little over the top, but a fake gun, well that’s just good clean fun for the whole family!
     
    Botched
     

  3. Nadine says:

     It is always better to take the high ground!! Good Job!!

  4. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    Excellent Mike, Kill her with kindness…….that drives the guilt knife deeper!::GRIN::

  5. Unknown says:

    To quote Gene Wilder in Blazing Saddles, "Man, is he strict".
     
    Boz

  6. Unknown says:

    This entry brings up some scary thoughts for me. I actually carry a gun for work every day (I also wear a bullet proof vest). I have to deal with many people who seem to have forgotten their brains, manners, smile, consciousness, etc. at home every day– not to mention the fact that they are talking to someone who is armed. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to just….
     
    But then I think of the happy things in life and how the moron that I am dealing with is really missing out and not worth the trouble. I’ll have to remember the "box of chocolates" technique.
     
    Dan

  7. Pamela says:

    Wow, that was a true random act of kindness…kudos to you!
    This planet needs more sweet souls like yourself…
     
    Love your post today…I feel sorry for the mail man at my apt. complex…y’know all those little lock boxes…and people just hang around and talk and ask him to do thing he shouldn’t be doing…
    Poor fellow…
     
    The only time I had to go door-to-door while doing gov’t. appointed work was when I did the 2000 Census…what a trip…

  8. missBoffin says:

    Mike, you are a gentleman. Personally, I think I would have gone for
    the gun, only I would have handed it to the chick behind the counter
    and said "here, put me out of your misery".

    Just kidding. Your jabba-the-hut and christmas baubles comments had me in stitches! Keep it up mate 🙂

  9. Remmi says:

    Big Mike. That is one of the nicest things ive heard of anyone doing in
    a long time. I must say Mike, this post was hilarious, best post youve
    made in a while, if only i could be bothered enough to write something
    as interesting as yours. Id love to have you as my mail man.
    BiKnBrYn

  10. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    FFC – I gave her those chocolates partly out of pity and partly to see how angry she really was.
    Botched – there is no fun in brandishing a weapon that you can’t point at an expensive piece of art work and make a point.
     
    Velvettush – I need oxygen.
     
    Stormy – I was a backhanded sympathy move.  Loaded with equal parts sarcasm and pity.
     
    Boz – I can’t quote any of that movie.  Everytime I see it I laugh too much to remember anything useful.
     
    Dan – I couldn’t carry a gun, the temptation would be too much.
     
    Pamela – If too many people were like me we would all be gridlocked.  After you.  No, no, after you.  I insist, after you.  Not before you, kind sir.
     
    miss Boffin – I’m not a gentleman, I’m polite on the surface and a sarcastic mongrel underneath.
     
    BiKnBrYn – I’m here to dish out the te he.   

  11. Courtney says:

    That was so sweet!
     
    And much better for teaching her a lesson – now she’s going to feel guilty.

  12. kïrstin says:

    wow that was a great way to respond. responding is always better than recting. it takes conscious decision to respond. that was a good one. maybe her boss had just chewed her out, or some customer had been stupid to her. who knows. its so easy to turn and bite the next person in line.
    s. lizard

  13. Star says:

    THAT was a wonderful thing to do.  You are a real man!!!  Good for you.  Or as you say, "Goodonya!

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  19. bu says:

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  20. bu says:

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  21. pu says:

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  22. pu says:

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  23. fast says:

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  24. fast says:

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  25. fast says:

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  26. fast says:

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  27. Unknown says:

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