Me vs Robbie McEwen

This is an event in my life that, at the time, was just an embarrassing blip on the radar that I promptly put in the history basket and forgot about.  It was about a decade later that some of the details took on a new perspective.  

Let’s start at the start.  I raced bikes well.  I worked for a large corporation which had, in its past, been wholly owned by the federal government, and many of the cliché’s of working for the public service were still very much in evidence.  Because of the flexibility of my work situation, I was selected by the Queensland Cycling Association (now Cycling Queensland) as one of six competitor/ambassadors of the sport for demonstration events.  As part of a publicity campaign we would visit large regional shopping centres along with members of the local clubs to stimulate interest in the sport.  

On the day in question (June 12th 1990 in fact) the other riders involved were my best friend Robbie Anderson who raced for the same club as I did, along with Darren Smith and Robbie McEwen who went to school together and both raced together for another club.  Here’s a little geographical interlude.  I live on the Sunshine Coast about one hour north of the states capital, Brisbane.  The Gold Coast is one hour south of the capital.  Both coasts are typified by long golden beaches and much rivalry over tourism dollars.  That rivalry spilled over into most sports, including cycling.   

Let’s go shopping.  

What is the worst thing about going to a big shopping centre?  99% of you said finding a parking space.  Go on, admit it.  You did.  What about the other major pain in the posterior?  The card table dwellers near the entrances.  The clubs and charities trying to sell raffle tickets or get petitions signed or scrounging for new members.   

That wasn’t us.  Our demonstrations were a little more active and flashy.  Any decent shopping centre has a big open area undercover for fashion shows – probably the same spot where Santa sits for the three weeks leading up to Christmas.  That’s where we set up shop.

We did have a couple of card tables.  That’s where the officials from two local clubs were camped to answer questions about membership and local events.  Someone from the state body was there as well, along with four racers for the glitz.  

Let’s go racing.  

How do you race inside a shopping centre?  Those of you that race competitively have a knowing grin and are probably nodding gently.  For the rest of you, I say – rollers.  Not a stationary wind trainer, but rather an unsupported bicycle on rollers.  Have a look at the attached picture if you need assistance with the visual image.  

Rollers – I’m a trackie, I love ’em.  At track racing carnivals you get a warm-up session before racing starts but once the racing is under way rollers are the sole access to warming up or keeping warm at most events.  

The demonstration we did was on two sets of rollers.  One set was red and the other set blue with both attached to a big dial like a clock face with a red and a blue hand.  One revolution of the clock was equal to 500 metres (0.31mi) travelled.  There were also 2 other sets of rollers off to the sides for the other riders to warm up on.  

There was no official competition or prizes for this activity, it was purely for show.  But there was also the inter-coast rivalry fuelling the whole thing.  During the warm-up it was obvious this was going to be a fight.  The two guys from the Gold Coast were taking turns on the competition rollers timing each other.  I overheard them discussing who would ride against each of us.  This’ll be fun.   

Then the P.A. came to life to announce the event to the lunchtime crowd.  From 11:30am to 2:00pm we rotated through the races.  I don’t remember much of the racing for the day but there were a couple of points that did stick in my mind.  I was undefeated on the day with everyone racing everyone three times.  I was the only person to get under 20 seconds for the standing 500 metres, and only once.  The slowest ride of the day was the last one – I can’t remember the exact time but it was around 22 seconds, giving an average speed over 80kph (50mph).  

Some things unique to rollers.  

These times seem fast until you consider that a lot of the things that slow you down riding a bike disappear on the rollers.  Don’t get me wrong, riding rollers in general is not easy.  And racing rollers is even less easy.  It is incredibly different to riding on the road or trail or even a velodrome.  Here’s where the speed comes from:  there is no weight to accelerate, or air resistance to overcome (pre-emptive rebuttal: angular momentum of wheels/cranks/legs are acknowledged, as is the air resistance of 60 or 70 spokes carving through the air – but these are negligible compared to having to accelerate the bike and rider from rest, and move through the air at those speeds).   

So at the end of the day I had beaten Robbie McEwen three times in a sprint.   

Here’s the part that doesn’t often get mentioned.  

I was racing a child.  It won’t take much research to discover that on the day of this event (12 June 1990) Robbie McEwen was 12 days short of his 18th birthday.  Versus me, a full grown man of 22 years.  But in my defence, I believe this to be a balanced competition – a fair fight.  Here’s why… while I had the advantage of almost 5 years of seniority, this event took place only 14 months after the ambulance ride.  I had in that period of time gone from my racing weight of 73kg (161lb) up to a peak of 119kg (262lb) and back down to 95kg (209lb).  And more significantly, ridden less than 2000km (745mi).  So an invalid versus an emerging superstar – he was fair game.  

Here’s the other part that doesn’t often get mentioned.  

When I was racing I could ride the rollers no handed.  Riding a bike no handed is a skill every seven year old can master.  It becomes a little tricky when you’re riding the rollers.  You don’t have the safety of soft grass.  Or the privacy of the backyard.  

For the purposes of this story it is needless to say that over-confidence, a set of rollers, a shopping centre stage and a crowd of several hundred shoppers is a bad combination. It wasn’t actually any of those that threw me though. It was the front tyre on my bike that burst while my over-confidence had me warming up no-handed with my arms smugly crossed against my chest.  

Arrogance rewarded with pain AND embarrassment.  Karma in its purest form.

 

Thought for the day.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Emo Philips

 

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14 Responses to Me vs Robbie McEwen

  1. Scott says:

    That is way cool, man.  The closest I have been to a professional cyclist was meeting George Hincapie at a charity event.  No riding there.  But some good pics and autographs. 
     
    I, too, love the rollers.  Have a set at home should I feel the urge to ride inside.  I’d  much rather be outside though.  Even in 32 degree temps.  It’s been a while since I was riding no handed on them, though.  Props to you on that. 
     
    Thanks for visiting my site.  I hope you come back again.

  2. Unknown says:

    I remember catching and pass Greg Lemond once back in the day. He was riding hard, but I on form. I was also driving my Saab 99 Turbo. He didn’t stand a chance. 

  3. Suzanne says:

    Love the story and the quote.
    Whats the story behind the accident? I must have missed that one.

  4. Big Guy on a Bicycle says:

    I used to ride with a guy in New York state who used to race against Frankie Andreu a lot.  He had similar stories.
    Thanks for the ‘Thought of the Day’.  Mrs. Guy is still wondering what got me all cracked up while I was sitting at the laptop, supposedly downloading songs for her.

  5. Unknown says:

    I’ve never even thought about trying to ride no-handed on rollers!  HMM, maybe I’ll give it a try.
     
    Sprinting on rollers is very sketchy.  I can sit down and "sprint" and I can stand up and ride, but if I stood up and tried to sprint, I’d be off the rollers in an instant.
     
    Nice story.  Unlike you, my races against the pro’s (mt. bikers) left me with the absolute knowledge that I wasn’t 1/2 the rider they were.
     
    Botched

  6. BIg Mike In Oz says:

    Psycho – I had a few rubs with fame and future fame while I was riding.  I chaperoned Martin Vinnicombe (Kilometre World Champion) when the National titles were held near my home in 1988.  And I had Shane Kelly in my car while following his 2 older brothers in a road race about the same time.  He at that stage was about 16 years old and obviously not yet a multiple world champion and Olympic medalist.  I can’t ride the rollers for more than about 20 minutes, everything goes really numb and gets really sweaty.Boz – Amazing how chemical enhancements improve your performance.  High-compression, high-octane.Suzanne – There’s a link embedded in the entry to take you to the background story.  I lucked onto the quote while researching a physics paper, go figure.BGOAB – Famous people are always bumping into the "regulars".  You just have to know where to look.Botched – No handed is impossible for me at the moment as a lot of the smoothness is missing from my pedal stroke.  The races we did were using normal gearing so my 19.?? second 500 metres equates to an average speed of over 90kph… 52×13 requires in excess of 150rpm to achieve that speed.  And yes, definitely only seated.  Out of the saddle is just for relieving pressure on the saddle area.

  7. Burra King says:

    Nice story, if you beat him, you him as far as i’m concerned, i never admit to an age difference or any other advantage i may have had. I take great personal pleasure in betting a couple of retiree’s at my local tri club monthly races.

  8. Unknown says:

    Mike – Thanks, I have been looking forward to this story and it was all that I imagined. 
     
    I too have done a shopping mall roller race.  This was in the winter of 1983 or 84 in the Chicago suburbs.  It was a really long (something like 4 hours) 4 person relay race and was one of the most painful things I have ever done in my life.  However, I didn’t win, nor did I fall down riding no handed.
     
    Cheers,
    Chris

  9. Shari says:

    🙂 Sounds like you had quite the day!

  10. Chris says:

    I can lay claim to a similar story.  Gold coast cats used to race around the Carrara aerodrome and former speedway  ( it’s all now ticky tacky houses on a flood plain ), and on race day it was a sunday handicap race. D grade had 20 riders, C grade had 6, B and A were close to 70 riders all up.  I know what you are thinking, that’s it for D/C, but we had 3 old hands in C, and we got organised right from the start. Carrara aerodrome had a massive tailwind up the back straight, and a lung sucking long finish ino the wind.  We held off the A/B’s until the last lap, where in the back straight I decided to jump at the fastest point of the back end…. and with rush of riders behind, I held them off for the last 600 metres and just got over the line before the bunch screamed through..  barely 30 centimeters separated me from second place… Danny Clark!!  He’d jumped from the bunch at the last but didn’t make it.. and he patted me on the back as I coughed up a lung at the side of the road.  Yes I beat Danny Clark, multiple discipline and word champion.  Woot!

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