The News

 

I was blog surfing over the weekend and someone somewhere (credit where it’s due if I could remember) wondered out loud “I wonder what Australians are more excited about, the world cup match against Italy or the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban wedding?”  So here are the three most important things to happen in Australian media in the last 72 hours.

 

 

The best news

 

The Socceroos made to the round of 16 at the World Cup.  This gives hope to the whole english speaking world that there is more than one country capable of representing us at this level of the sport.  Sadly, between when I decided to write this entry and when I got around to actually writing it, Australia succumbed to the Italians, albeit in the 95th minute of a 90 minute game.  Therefore the baton passes to England to represent us in the quarter finals.

 

 

The other news

 

Apparently there was a big wedding over the weekend.  I never heard the phrase “celebrity wedding of the year” but I’m sure it was uttered somewhere.  Of course, I never got an invite.  Keith is very possessive and was probably fearful of 5 foot 11 Nicole falling head over heals for 5 foot 8 me (often described as “a bit like Bruce Willis, except without the personal trainer”).

 

Just to give some perspective to all the hype, one of the local radio stations did a sidewalk survey in the local shopping centre.  Keith Urban grew up about 50km (30mi) from where I live so local interest would be as high for this as for any major celebrity event.  The question they asked late last week was “How interested are you in the upcoming wedding of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?”  It was a multiple choice quiz with the 5 available answers being; obsessed, fascinated, interested, indifferent or who.  They accosted a total of 200 people during the day and 62% responded with indifferent.

 

Australians really don’t get into the whole paparazzi thing.  If I ever read a gossip magazine, it’s purely to confirm just how stupid Paris Hilton really is, or to have a gawk at Jessica Alba’s cleavage on the red carpet.

 

 

The worst news

 

Speaking of cleavage, who here watches reality TV?  Nobody?  That’s what I thought.  As a rule, neither do I.  But there was some terrible news late last week.

 

Big Brother, which I’m sure you’re all familiar with, has several different shows that air during the week.  The regular weekly show that I don’t bother with.  The eviction show which I watch purely to see adults cry.  The nomination show which I watch to see just how bitchy people can be when cornered.  “Up late” every night from 11pm that I don’t bother with.  And finally, a show which has changed names and time slots, but never formats.  This one I do watch (purely for the socio-cultural content).  Over the years it’s been named – among other things – Exposed, Uncut and Adults Only.

 

There’s always outcry from the moral minority who are so stupid that they can’t even change channels on their TV when this comes on.  Either that, or they have to watch so that their repressed little minds can better understand why the rest of the world is so depraved.  It’s the show where they don’t beep out the swearing and they don’t pixelate the nudity – all in the name of research, of course.  And this week in its place was a Simpsons rerun with a banner scrolling across the bottom of the screen apologising for not showing Big Brother Adults Only -EVER AGAIN.  The zealots have prevailed and mature adults no longer get to choose what is acceptable viewing at 9:30pm on a Monday night.  As if the Simpsons is of a higher moral standard.

 

Here I sit

 

So I am feeling a little sad and alone.  I don’t have gratuitous nudity to watch on Monday nights, my team’s out of the soccer and Nicole Kidman has married someone else.  sniff…

 

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24 Responses to The News

  1. Scott says:

    Man, that is a bummer.  At least you had nudity on TV at one point.  We are still pretty Victorian here in the states.  Unless it is pay cable channels like Showtime or HBO, we don’t get the good stuff.
     
    I would also have to be in the indifferent camp.  In fact, I didn’t even know they were a couple.  But I do know Jessica Alba’s cleavage.  It’s all about priorities. 

  2. Kelly says:

    You had me at mention of "cleavage" as I’m on a constant search for one. Mine.
     
    Other than that, I don’t know what you wrote. 😉

  3. Tom Stormcrowe says:

    Mike, I hate to remind ya……Nicole was already out of the running! You’re already married!::GRIN::

  4. Unknown says:

    TV. I love it so much, I had to give it up. I’ll watch anything. Absolutely anything. I feel so dirty.
     
    Botched

  5. Unknown says:

    Mike, there’s irony in you not watching reality TV, since the greatest moment ever in reality TV occurred in the Outback, when one of the "Survivor" contestants passed out in the firepit and burned the bejeezus out of himself. 
     
    And Psycho, give it a rest, man.  There are four or five broadcast networks that are regulated, then about 500 cable channels that are semi-regulated, or completely unregulated.  HBO, Cinemax, SHO, TMC show a lot of soft core pr*n after 10:30 at night, and there are literally dozens of cable and satelite channels showing every detail, if that’s your thing.  The idea we’re victorian is pretty lame.  It seems to me we keep the public square a little more free of smut, and really go to town in the dark alleys.  Which is how it should be.  I recently realized that a good looking fully dressed (or mostly dressed) (or suggestively dressed) woman can be a lot hotter to look at than a buck naked one.  Sometimes it’s better to get a taste of a cookie, rather than the whole cake all at once.  Have just a taste, you’ll certainly want more…

  6. Anchra says:

    Sigh
     
    I don’t have cable, and rarely watch tv at all.
    I haven’t seen a boobie on tv (besides my own … wait … did I just type that?) since the re-runs of Benny Hill on UHF at midnight when I was a kid.
    Since then … nothing.
    Be happy that you had it at all. Here in the states, we are so censored we forget what naked people look like. Ok, well, not entirely, since I pretty much just picture everyone naked all the time … it’s just to keep the memory alive!
     
    … man, I gutta get out more …
     
    ~Anchra~

  7. serf says:

    Who is Keith Urban? 
     
    Ms. Kidman I’ve heard of, but the Keith guy was an unknown to me until his name started being connected with hers.  I’m still not sure what the guy does for a living.
     
    I guess this is what comes from no antenna, cable or satellite.  The home TV would be more accurately described as a DVD monitor that somehow picks up a TV station 60 miles away.  The signal is so weak there is no color.  That’s not very distressing since the “snow” pretty much obscures the screen anyway.  The wife’s been wanting cable but after reading the entry and comments I figure why bother.
      

  8. Unknown says:

    I thought the Socceroos wuz ROBBED but I have not seen a slo-mo of it. I also lack interest in the wedding and I support your evaluation of the Simpsons as "proper" viewing material… sheesh!
     
    I hope you’re having a marvelous break between semesters. And good on ya for the dedication to education. I hope your kids are picking up on that!
     
    Hugs,
     
    MuMo

  9. Fat says:

    The lives of celebrities… what would we do without them?~ Fat Chick

  10. Unknown says:

    Gee Anchra, I guess they don’t have the innernets where you live in Amerika. 
     
    I guess I have to concede, we’re really victorian.  Sure, 40%+ of all internet traffic in the U.S. is porn related.  And sure, most video stores other than blockbuster have a back room absolutely stuffed with porn.  And sure, you can get porn on pay-per-view, sattelite, and premium cable channels.  And yes, indeed, the lad mags are on display behind the counter at pretty much every 7/11 convenience store in the whole country.  But if there’s no titties on the 4 major broadcast networks, and no page 3 girls in the NY Times, it’s a clear sign that we’re repressed to the level of being scarred psychologically by it…
     
    Tough place to live, Amerika. 

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  15. bu says:

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  16. Unknown says:

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  17. Unknown says:

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  18. Unknown says:

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  19. Unknown says:

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