I was blog surfing over the weekend and someone somewhere (credit where it’s due if I could remember) wondered out loud “I wonder what Australians are more excited about, the world cup match against Italy or the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban wedding?” So here are the three most important things to happen in Australian media in the last 72 hours.
The best news
The Socceroos made to the round of 16 at the World Cup. This gives hope to the whole english speaking world that there is more than one country capable of representing us at this level of the sport. Sadly, between when I decided to write this entry and when I got around to actually writing it, Australia succumbed to the Italians, albeit in the 95th minute of a 90 minute game. Therefore the baton passes to England to represent us in the quarter finals.
The other news
Apparently there was a big wedding over the weekend. I never heard the phrase “celebrity wedding of the year” but I’m sure it was uttered somewhere. Of course, I never got an invite. Keith is very possessive and was probably fearful of 5 foot 11 Nicole falling head over heals for 5 foot 8 me (often described as “a bit like Bruce Willis, except without the personal trainer”).
Just to give some perspective to all the hype, one of the local radio stations did a sidewalk survey in the local shopping centre. Keith Urban grew up about 50km (30mi) from where I live so local interest would be as high for this as for any major celebrity event. The question they asked late last week was “How interested are you in the upcoming wedding of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?” It was a multiple choice quiz with the 5 available answers being; obsessed, fascinated, interested, indifferent or who. They accosted a total of 200 people during the day and 62% responded with indifferent.
Australians really don’t get into the whole paparazzi thing. If I ever read a gossip magazine, it’s purely to confirm just how stupid Paris Hilton really is, or to have a gawk at Jessica Alba’s cleavage on the red carpet.
The worst news
Speaking of cleavage, who here watches reality TV? Nobody? That’s what I thought. As a rule, neither do I. But there was some terrible news late last week.
Big Brother, which I’m sure you’re all familiar with, has several different shows that air during the week. The regular weekly show that I don’t bother with. The eviction show which I watch purely to see adults cry. The nomination show which I watch to see just how bitchy people can be when cornered. “Up late” every night from 11pm that I don’t bother with. And finally, a show which has changed names and time slots, but never formats. This one I do watch (purely for the socio-cultural content). Over the years it’s been named – among other things – Exposed, Uncut and Adults Only.
There’s always outcry from the moral minority who are so stupid that they can’t even change channels on their TV when this comes on. Either that, or they have to watch so that their repressed little minds can better understand why the rest of the world is so depraved. It’s the show where they don’t beep out the swearing and they don’t pixelate the nudity – all in the name of research, of course. And this week in its place was a Simpsons rerun with a banner scrolling across the bottom of the screen apologising for not showing Big Brother Adults Only -EVER AGAIN. The zealots have prevailed and mature adults no longer get to choose what is acceptable viewing at 9:30pm on a Monday night. As if the Simpsons is of a higher moral standard.
Here I sit
So I am feeling a little sad and alone. I don’t have gratuitous nudity to watch on Monday nights, my team’s out of the soccer and Nicole Kidman has married someone else. sniff…