What happened yesterday?

That was a trick question.

Yesterday was a multi-facetted pot-pourri of heartache and joy.

Why the heartache? Well, according to a very famous urban myth that has been circulating for the past 29 years, yesterday was the day that Elvis Presley died. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. That is until I hear it from Jack Bauer himself. I don’t trust anyone else with information of this calibre. I think the FBI should reopen the case. Does the CIA have an alibi for that day?

What makes this a day of heartache for me? I hate to see people suffer. Especially my family. On august 16th, 1977 I came home from school to find my mother sitting in the lounge room sobbing. It took nearly half an hour to extract the details of her despair. Her heart was broken that day by a man she had never met, but knew intimately.

What else makes this a day of heartache? Elvis bloody Presley ruined my birthday. You see, August 16th, 1977 was also my 10th birthday. Nothing ruins a 10th birthday more than a distraught parent being in charge. And worse than 1 distraught parent, is dozens of distraught parents. I invited 20 friends to my party. 14 accepted. Elvis died. 1 kid showed up for the party. And that was only because his mother was a shift worker and didn’t know that Elvis was dead. I got home from school thinking I was going to have the greatest day of my life to over no balloons, no streamers, no cake, nothing. What makes this a day of joy? I think I’ve already let the cat out of the bag. Yes, you guessed it. It was my birthday. Here’s a picture of the cake.

** NASAL BEVERAGE WARNING ** The reason we’re all leaning back from the cake is because of the heat coming off all those candles. You can count them if you like. There’s 37. Not because I’m 37. Because we ran out of candles. I’m not going to say it out loud but you can do the calculations from the Elvis dates and work it out for yourself. Then keep it to yourself. I don’t need to be reminded. I get reminded every day. Have a closer look at the photo. I don’t have any hair. Even if I let it grow, I don’t have much. Most of it emigrated from my head to my back several years ago.

I wanted to treat myself yesterday so I started the day off with 2 hours of stacking bread on shelves at the grocery store. Then for dessert I indulged myself with 4 hours of Boolean Algebra. My family took me out for lunch, then I spent the afternoon tinkering with my bikes before going to the velodrome to remind myself exactly how old I was.

And what gifts do you get for a man who has 4 jobs and no spare time? Socks, shirts, books, DVDs and hugs. And I love them all. The gifts and the givers. My wife asked the kids why I was special and transcribed it onto my birthday card…

All in all it was a great day. Aided in no small part by the fact that despite being high winter we had a low of 9°C (48°F), a high of 23°C (73°F) and a blue sky all day.

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